


Keep Me Together

by MrFruitsnack



Category: Invader Zim
Genre: Blood and Gore, College Student Dib (Invader Zim), Fluff and Angst, Friendship, Friendship/Love, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-31
Updated: 2020-07-05
Packaged: 2021-03-03 08:14:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 9,434
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24467779
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MrFruitsnack/pseuds/MrFruitsnack
Summary: In another attempt to control Zim, Dib creates a voodoo doll to locate Zim without worrying about having his tech being destroyed. The doll reveals Zim’s deepest fears. Dib must use his necromancy skills to stop the soul transfer into the Zim doll before it’s too late. Will this result in Zim pushing Dib further away or a step closer for him in understanding the hot-tempered alien?
Relationships: Dib/Zim (Invader Zim)
Comments: 3
Kudos: 51





	1. Late Nights

**Author's Note:**

> Not even college finals can keep these two apart from their usual shindig.
> 
> (This is inspired by the episode where Dib buys a charm online to hurt Zim in front of his own base and also based on a drawing of mine where Dib is surrounded by dolls based on people that are important in his life.)

It was a cold night, and the rain kept pouring nonstop since the morning without any sign of clearing. The wet breeze rolled underneath Dib’s cracked open dorm window. He had rushed out for his afternoon class and came back to the dorm with a small puddle on the windowsill. He hesitated before closing the window completely. He had been leaving the window open just a bit, only if _Zim_ would show up. It had been a while since he last heard from Zim, but it was unusual to not hear a peep from the alien for this long. Dib promised himself to stop actively looking after Zim, but not even college finals could keep these two apart. He was getting finicky after not hearing from Zim. Nevertheless, Dib was ready for whatever contraption Zim pulled out his sleeve, at least that’s what he kept telling himself. 

A few months before Dib resumed college, there was a dormant season for Zim. No word, no signs, no trace, not even his SIR unit was in sight. It was already late for Dib to check Zim’s base. Even though they both graduated high skol and even had “celebrated” together, Dib also assumed Zim would follow him, at least keep an eye on him. Previously they had a brief talk about their life after hi skool. It seemed like Zim had finally lessened his angry mood swings after he let Dib adjust the chemical components in his PAK, which was only possible after an agreement to let the alien do a small autopsy on the human after he finished inspecting the PAK. It took months after finally gathering Zim’s trust for him to share some of Ikren culture and biology after Zim hesitantly said yes to Dib, it didn’t take long for Zim to somewhat regret it. He had to admit, he kinda did like the attention, after years of going behind authority figures for validation. 

After the minor modifications, Zim felt like he could concentrate better without having the annoying buzz in his subconscious. _“This doesn’t feel….normal? Zim doesn’t feel like before, it feels like something is missing…”_ Zim grunted, looking a little lost back at him. Dib nodded to himself at the memory. Zim did look like he was going through an unusual phase, even though there wasn’t much done to his PAK. Dib saved some of Zim’s samples without his consent. He wasn’t going to risk pushing Zim’s tolerance any further, unsure of even when they would meet again after starting school again, Dib kept making excuses for himself. He kept the samples on his desk inside a small chest. It would be a good while before he could get more.

Dib returned to his desk, removing his soaked black coat. He took out from his backpack some sewing supplies he bought earlier that day. He had started crafting a while back some protection charms for his cryptic outings. It made it easy that the campus was in the middle of a redwood forest, which he had yet to chart, he found that the campus maps weren’t up to date. Maybe he could ask Zim to join him next time, the more, the merrier. He had found some articles from the _Swollen Eyeball Network_ ’s forum regarding the much-needed protection when sightseeing during the full moon. His usual outing wasn’t just to find the next Big Foot. Still, it was also to accumulate evidence for his project in the mythology department. 

He found some questionable websites regarding voodoo dolls after five pages in the forum. Although he didn't think much of it the idea of having a more reliable connection to Zim via a doll medium, it didn’t hurt to try, right? After all, at least at the moment, he didn’t have a way to communicate with Zim. They had forgotten to agree on an acceptable means of communication before Dib’s departure. All of his old spy cameras within the base were found by Zim long ago. 

Dib retrieved some leftover scraps of felt from his bottom desk drawer. This way, he could at least have a visual of him. Dib just secretly missed the guy, but he kept insisting to himself that he was worried about Zim’s next plan. It has been a couple of years since Zim tried anything questionable to bring harm to the town. Dib resumed back to the doll. The desk was now full of crafting supplies he had accumulated since the start of this doll project. _It's just a doll, right?_

He continued his thread work, currently much neater than a year ago. He glanced down at the smaller Zim doll rejects. _Those were for practice, right? I can't have a sloppy doll if I want it to work…_ Dib kept reassuring himself. 

He sighed and stitched the arm area, closing it perfectly. There was only enough stuffing for his current doll but before Dib sealed it, he took out Zim's sample. It was contained in a pretty and tiny glass box. With some twisters, he gently picked up a sample. The rain poured in stronger, and the wind raddled the window shut. Dib jumped at the sudden noise, almost dropping the sample into his lap, he caught it with his other hand just on time. He let out a small sigh and returned to stuff the sample in the center of the doll inside the little PAK. Dib placed more stuffing in the doll slowly, making sure to not bloat the doll. Sewing it securely, he finished and cracked a small smile at the doll subconsciously. It felt so long since Dib saw Zim, and a small typhoon of sadness rolled over him. He placed the finished doll down on his desk and went to bed. The rain continued pouring all throughout the night without a sign of stopping. 

The following morning was filled with the crisp scent of fresh rain. The rain gently fell against the window. His alarm rang 10AM, without missing a beat, he reached his cellphone, feeling the empty side, he sighed slowly and realized Zim wouldn’t be returning anytime soon. As he got ready for his morning class and glanced over his desk which still covered with pink threads and some sewing needles. His doll was nowhere in sight. Strange. It swore he had left it in the middle. He did a quick search through the room. Nothing. Maybe the wind had knocked it over? He looked underneath the desk. Nothing. Quickly glanced at his watch, he had 15-minutes left to get to class.He grabbed his backpack and locked the room. Today was a full day. 

After the two-morning lectures back to back, Dib went straight to the dining hall. It wasn’t too crowded, he got some pasta and took a seat on the side patio. He dug through his backpack and took out a small tablet. Opening up the recorder app. A few months ago, he had installed a camera inside his dorm door. There were times where some of his stuff had gone missing even though he has locked the door. The recording showed no movement all throughout the night. His eyebrows furrowed tightly as he took another bite of his pasta. The doll should still be there without a doubt. There was one evening class remaining, Math 4. He took out his notes before heading back to the next class. The tablet showed the recording of some slight moment of the doll without him realizing as he placed the device back into his backpack. 

He half-ran back to his dorm with some snacks in hand. It was dark outside and gently raining. As he unlocked the door, he heard some soft rustling noises from inside. He finished entering the last digit of his dorm code and opened the door ever so slowly. The rustling noises stopped. Closing the door behind him, he looked around the room. He left the backpack next to the desk. Somehow the desk seemed messer than last night. He took out the tablet once more and checked the last 30 minutes of recording available. The door was not opened at all until he arrived, but something small was shown to be moving near the door, something magenta colored. _Did the doll fall?_ He scratched his head as he looked back at his bed. He turned off the tablet and laid down on the bed. Quickly drifting to sleep, with some of the magenta cloth in his hand from last night, the sound of the rain finally put him to sleep. 

***

_Dib took each step with difficulty breathing sharping, turning into a gasp for air. The walls were closing. He did not know where he was going, but a faint pink glowing light ahead kept lurking him closer. He started running to it. The whispers in the darkness only grew louder with each step Dib took until he tripped onto something metal. It was partially rusty with some faint pink spheres on each anchor point with a sharp pointy end. He inspected it closer and saw a part of his reflection on it. It started to move like a headless snake. “AH!” Dib shouted as it dropped back into the void. “Wait no!” It was already too late, Zim’s PAK leg was already gone. Dib looked ahead, and the pink light was nowhere in sight. He slowly glanced down, pink sludge was gripping onto his legs and climbing on top of his body. It swiftly entered in any places possible on his face._

_“You are NOT getting rid of me that easily you Eurth-Worm!”_

_Dib choked on the thick pink sludge, his eyes dripping nonstop without able to breathe._


	2. Final Touches

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes you just need to sleep it off.

Dib jolted forward, sweat dripped from his forehead, and accidentally knocked over his prescription from the nightstand. The rain continued. The clock read 2 AM as he slowly regained a couple of even breaths before he looked down to see the Zim doll slumped on top of him. He was sure that he’d left it on the desk a few hours before. Dib looked around his room, looking for any indication of the real one nearby. Nothing. 

“Zim...if you’re here...I can explain. This time I swear I can explain,” He hesitated before gently grabbing the doll. Some details were missing, the doll’s PAK was a bit loose, Dib grabbed his mini-sewing kit and quickly reinforced the stitch. A tiny yelp came from the doll. Dib stopped and slowly moved it away from it. The doll’s hand started to twitch a little, and then it forcefully snatched Dib’s needle. He jumped off his bed, turned the lamp on with shaky hands. It wasn’t the first time he was able to animate an object, and he knew the potential consequences very well, but that didn’t mean he was prepared for them in the first place. 

The doll struggled to stand up on the bed and got the needle stuck in the middle of its hand. It flailed off the mattress. Dib cautiously moved closer to it, the needle just pierced further in his hand. It seemed panicked as it kept patting its face with the needless hand. He gently took the doll from the collar. Before he was able to remove the needle from the doll, it hesitantly ripped a mouth like entrance across its face with the same needle. The doll emitted a low sad sigh before it turned back to look at Dib. It jabbed the needled right in the middle of Dib’s hand. 

“AHH!!” He clutched the doll with his other hand.

“Now you know what it feels like, you Eurth-Worm!”

“Z-Zim? Wait, I wasn’t finished with the doll; the enchantment shouldn’t have worked at least not yet.” Dib took the needle out of his hand while still holding on to the doll. He wrapped the magenta cloth around his pierced hand. It was fine, it wasn’t like it was the first time this happened before. 

“Zim takes his eyes off you for one minute, and you do this shit???” The doll struggled within Dib’s grip. “Let go! You’re holding on too tight!” 

“I-I’m sorry, wait, wait,” he adjusted the doll within his grasp. 

“Let. Zim. In.” 

“What?” 

“LET. ZIM. IN.” The sounds of pointy metal pecking against the window along with the rain caught Dib off-guard. He turned to see a pair of glowing pink eyes glaring back at him from the other side. Zim almost cracked the window with his PAK arms, he opened the window in a swift motion and stumbled forward into the bed. The room now smelled like damp burned skin. Zim did his best to ignore the burning sensation all over his body and rapidly closed the window behind him. “Give it to Zim.” He growled back and pointed to the doll, and the doll pointed back to Zim. Dib hasn’t seen him this upset in a long time, which made him freeze and unintentionally squeezed the doll into a tighter grip. 

“I TOLD YOU TO STOP HOLDING SO TIGHTLY!,” the sound of his broken rib was slightly louder. 

“Zim!” Dib shouted unintentionally louder, his next-door neighbor knocked on the wall quiet aggressively at the same time. Both of them stopped any movements for a second, and Zim just gave in, falling onto the bed. He closed his eyes. The room was silent. Dib took several steps closer to him. He held the doll with both hands. Zim was covered in unrecognizable injuries. Most of them were not caused by the rain on his way over, significantly on his neck. Deep scratches revolved his neck, and the clothes didn’t manage to cover the major wounds on the chest. It seemed like it was reopened a couple of times. Dib trailed his eyes to Zim’s hands. They were shaky, Zim kept slightly trembling, Even with his gloved still on, Dib could tell that his nails were unusually long. 

“Zim?” Dib leaned in, looking back at him and to his trembling hands. “Zim, can you hear me?” He brushed his fingers on Zim’s exposed chest. Zim jerked forward and coughed out a handful of hot pink blood and gasped for a solid minute. Without a second thought, Dib reached out to him gently with some force and patted Zim’s back, careful not to touch his PAK. He flinched and stopped his PAK legs before they deployed. Most of Zim’s clothes and bedsheets were drenched in his blood. 

“Zim, what’s going on? Why are y-you- ?” Dib’s voice cracked as soon as Zim moved forward, more pink liquid dripped from the side of his tunic. Dib flinched, closed his eyes, shielding his face with the doll still in hand. Zim grunted, falling face forward even on the bed. 

Dib peeked behind the doll. Zim was motionless. It seemed like he was still breathing, but the pool of blood just slowly kept spreading. Dib finally noticed some of the blood dripping from the doll. It had similar cuts as Zim. Dib placed the doll inside his shirt pocket, its hands hanged out. He flipped Zim to his back to examine his injuries. He grabbed an x-acto knife from the desk and cut through Zim’s uniform, he spotted several bruises trailing from the neck to the stomach and tapped the PAK. There was no response. 

Although the doll was not complete, the fact that Zim had gotten himself into too much physical damage a few minutes before combining the specimen into doll vessel. Dib had encountered this before with a smaller entity, but rather than worry how to restore it to its original state, he would leave it be since it was close to decay. If there was one thing, Dib learned the hard way over the years of manipulating soul transfers, once you start it you have you finish it. The Zim doll was almost complete, Dib managed to stitch the remaining facial features within a few minutes. 

“I’m sorry Zim, I should have done this sooner.” He quickened his sewing and looked down at Zim, who seemed to regain his breath again. His PAK glowed and started to softly tick like a start-up noise. Dib didn’t have his first-aid kit with him, he would have to go to the university clinic first thing in the morning if Zim hadn’t left by then. Pretty weird to just have time crash, dripped in his own blood, and past out type of Saturday morning. 

The PAK started to repair itself, slower than the time’s Dib has seen it. Still, he let out a sigh of relief, mainly because he didn’t have the majority of his equipment to inspect Zim further at the moment. He was secretly glad that Zim wasn’t pulling the plug this time or if it happened to be another of his pestering plans to pull his leg again. 

“Zim, how ya' been?” He hesitated before closing off the knot and glanced at Zim’s now mid-relaxed face. The alien might have been in such a rush to get here since he wasn’t in his full disguised, which was very unusual for him. Dib had some clean clothes to spare, he took another look at the wounds as he removed Zim’s ruined uniform. The injuries looked a little better now, it still made Dib wince as he subconsciously brushed his fingers across the bruises. So much for being ecstatic for Zim’s autopsy, Dib was oddly enough having second thoughts about that. He shook his head. 

There were a few more hours before his alarm rang. He decided it is best to get a few more hours of sleep before pestering Zim how he got here and why the hell was he so beaten up? It was usual for Zim to display Dib any physical weakness in the past, but recently Zim looks like he keeps coming back from the same fight, each time worse than the last. 

Suddenly a wave of exhaustion finally hit Dib. He’d been thinking about Zim more than usual these past months after returning back to the dorms, but honestly, he had missed him just as much. He was adjusting far well by now since he was surrounded by people who shared the same interests. Not having to rely too heavily on the Swollen Eyeball Network, Dib felt a sense of belonging. Still, after seeing Zim again, it just made it evident to him that he wasn’t ready just yet to leave the alien alone. He bit his lip and let out a tiny sigh. 

The bed was cramped for two people, but Zim hadn’t grown past Dib’s shoulders. Doubt he would grow taller to be honest. Dib quickly picked up the blood-covered clothing from the floor and tossed it into his laundry basket. The sheets were now dried in blood. He got ready for bed this time, he left the same shirt on and left the doll inside the pocket. He got on the bed, laid on his side. He glanced beside him, Zim was now breathing normally, PAK kept making gentle ticking noises. Assuming it was starting to properly heal him, he should be fine in a few hours, especially when sleeping. He recalled Zim hesitantly explaining why Irkens didn’t require sleep but when they did, it was almost like a coma. It was very difficult to wake them up and defenseless, which is why they slept in groups and never alone. Even Zim couldn’t recall the last time he had slept. It was definitely before he was assigned the mission on Eurth, he didn’t trust his SIR unit to guard his body and the base. Zim was knocked out for who knows how long, but somehow, he managed to get to Dib on time. Dib was confident he could protect him. Zim was mellowing out, and that made him a little more tolerable, but Dib still felt something was off. 

Today was going to be a long day; he was looking forward to it. He grabbed Zim’s hand gently before drifting back to sleep again. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Final touches on the doll bruh.


	3. Breakfast In Bed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zim crashes at Dib's place because Dib forgot to complete the ritual.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Zim gets what he deserves.

_ The communication line was cut, and Zim was left with a static screen. “ No, no, no !!! This does NOT happen to Zim!” He kept trying to stabilize the connection, but it was useless. The Tallests simply gave him the news that the Control Brains are programing to shut down his PAK in a few hours. “YOU CAN’T DO THIS TO ME - TO ZIM, AFTER ALL, ZIM DID FOR YOU, FOR IRK!”  _

_ He banged on the control system; it was unresponsive until the monitor flashed a red count-down screen starting at the 5-minute mark. The base emergency lights started flashing simultaneity and caused Zim to panic. The system was still online but unresponsive to him. _

_ “Computer! Find GIR! WHERE IS GIR!” No response, the alarm system just blared louder, Zim felt the walls caving in. “Master! I’m here! Why are you crying?” Zim turned around to find him; there were four claw arms ready to take GIR apart. Zim yelled and ran towards him, embracing him tightly, and the base now tore itself apart, SIR unit and master. The count-down was at zero.  _

_ “Zim doesn’t wait to die…I don’t want to die.”  _

Zim woke up, with some tears in his eyes. It’s been a while since he last has that dream. He knew it was a matter of time before it happened, but no matter what, he was having difficulty confronting and confirming that reality. He had been actively avoiding any calls from the Tallest for almost a year. At this point, they hadn’t bothered calling anymore, better for Zim. He had once tried to remove the PAK’s tracking system, but that resulted in an automatic check-in from the central PAK maintenance department. Zim has to spit out a fast lie to save his ass once more. His endless rant had earned his a weeklong vigilance from the department. He had to suspend anymore tempering for now. 

Zim slowly got out of bed. The rain had finally stopped, but the air was cold. It wasn’t his first time inside Dib’s dorm, but it has been a while. There was more post-it scattered on the wall than he remembers. Some pictures of him were up as well with red sting pinned down into an intricate web. It was mainly documentation of his previous failed attempts. Was Dib trying to figure out Zim’s next plan or had he’d just ignored the truce they made a few months ago. Well, it wasn’t like Zim has going to entirely stop future conquering plans; Zim just didn’t feel up for it. It had been challenging to brainstorm any new strategies, and they didn’t feel as much fun as before. Nevertheless, Zim continued building new devices without trying them out and just proceed with the next blueprint. 

There was a large calendar next to his pictures with detailed notations of the next full moon—a big thick red circle marked for today’s date. 

Any major moment caused several waves of abdominal pain. He patted all over and was taken back by his change of clothes. Luckily, there was no bleeding. He found the laundry basket with some of his clothes covered in blood. It was slightly torn, not a problem. It wasn’t the first time. He looked back at the NASA shirt he was wearing. 

“Ugh, Dib still has a horrible sense of taste,” Zim grunted as he looked at himself into the mirror hung behind the door. He gently brushed the shirt wrinkles off. “Wait, where is he?” 

“Zim!” 

“DIB!? Where are you?” The sudden soft voice made Zim almost forget how to breathe for a few seconds. He looked around, Dib wasn’t in his room for sure, but he could hear him. “WHERE ARE YOU HIDING,” Zim tried to contain his build-up anger. 

“Hey, Zim, do you want waffles and hashbrowns?” 

“Oh yeah, yes, please. HEY! Where are you? Why can’t I see you?” 

The dish clashing, energetic chatter, and busy kitchen heard in the distance. 

“I brought lil’ Zim with me, inside my pocket, but I think it’s fully linked to you. Kind of like a walkie-talkie? So waffles and hashbrowns, yea’?” Dib carefully stuffed his lunch container with his favorite breakfast. “Hey, you can’t be taking two containers to go!” The dining hall manager spotted him a few feet away. “I’m bringing breakfast to my roommate, who’s in sick.” Dib didn’t look at her in the face and just continued to fill up the second container. She paused and gave him a tiny nod before leaving him alone. 

Dib whispered back into the doll in his front shirt pocket. “I’ll be there back in the room soon. Let me know if you want anything else before I leave the dining hall. There’s breakfast until 2p-” 

“BRING ME MORE OF THOSE um those red berries!” Zim had a massive smile on his face. 

“Strawberries? Yeah, they are still in season, there’s still plenty. Okay, I’ll be back soon.” Dib replied to the doll with a tiny smile. “OH, I almost forgot, I need to pick up some supplies for your wounds. It will be quick, I promise.” Dib hurried, stuffed the container with as many fresh strawberries as possible, checked out the dining hall, and carefully placed the containers into his backpack. His back was warm from the waffles, but his front was semi-exposed against the cold wind. He half-ran down the hill towards the university clinic. It opened later on the weekend, but it wasn’t like he planned to have Zim show-up bleeding to his dorm on a Saturday morning. 

The clinic was just about to open, and the main front clerk flashed a smile at Dib, he was one of the regulars. After so many hike trails behind the school, he had to stack up on necessary first-aid supplies since he kept coming across unusual mushroom and poison ivy. He had gotten better in avoiding the poison ivy, but the mushroom he had found during his first two years at school had always lured him to touch it directly. He kept a log of all the weird-looking items he’d found deep in the forest and tracked down some home-based remedies that could help counteract his common skin reactions. 

“Morning Dib! What will it be this time?” They looked at him from top-to-bottom. “You look okay?” 

“Oh I’m fine, I just need to restock my medi case, I’m running low. I can’t go out tonight without it.” He picked up the items and brought it up to the counter. 

“Make sure to not use this stuff all at once, too much of it can be harmful.” 

“Yeah, I’ll keep that in mind,” Dib opened his backpack and placed the items inside. “I might need more….next week.” 

“Sure, Dib, just check in a few days before,” they shook their head as they went to the back to bring in more stock. 

“Thanks!” Dib hurried off, waving back. He headed back to his dorm. 

“Okay, Zim, I have everything I need.” 

“HURRY, ZIM IS HUNGRY,” the doll did a tiny shriek. Dib gave it a gentle pat on the head. 

***

Dib arrived at his room. He knocked before unlocking it, “hey Zim, it’s me.” 

Zim was on his bed, his knees up to his chest. He looked a little more relaxed but still tired. Dib closed the door behind him, placed his backpack on his desk, unpacking the food and his first-aid kit.

“Here,” he gave Zim a container full of waffles and strawberries. Zim perked up and ate it almost in one gulp; he had forgotten to eat for the past few days on top of not sleeping in a long time. “Hey, slow down, you might choke.” 

He just finished the strawberries even faster, and his face was covered in strawberry bits. 

Dib opened his breakfast container. “Are you feeling better, Zim?” He took a spoonful of scrambled eggs and hashbrowns with ketchup. He took off his shoes and sat next to Zim. “Huh, it finally stopped raining. Just on time for tonight’s hike too. Do you wanna go with me?” He asked with a mouthful of strawberries. Zim grunted. 

“Ugh, sure Zim needs to check on this doll thing as well, which you DID NOT notify me that it would work.” 

“You promised a sample, and this doll was a result of that. But I wasn’t expecting this type of bond to form. The doll is in good shape, so I assumed your wounds are from before I finished the doll.” Dib didn’t look at Zim and continued eating. Zim took a strawberry from Dib’s container. There were only a few left. Dib then quickly glanced at Zim’s arms as he reached for another strawberry, some unusual deep marks trailed towards his neck. The sunlight finally exposed him; Zim looked away from Dib. “You’re not backing out on me, right?” 

“No, of course not - Zim is just thinking.” 

“Oh really, it’s Saturday, though. Empty head, one thought type of day.” There was a single juicy strawberry left in Dib’s container. Zim grabbed it before he was able to look down at his food again. Zim was sure his SIR unit was watching his favorite Saturday morning cartoon. 

“Yeah..it is.” He took the final bite into the strawberry. He felt a little empty. 

“Zim, are you okay? It’s been a while since you dropped by.” He looked at Zim’s gloveless hand. 

“Don’t worry; I placed it over here.” He grabbed the second glove from the desk and placed it back on Zim’s hand carefully. 

“Zim has been meaning to drop by but has been busy -” 

“Avoiding them? Again.” Dib whispered and nodded at him, Zim taken back. 

“Did you see...them?” 

“Not really, but I could guess since you were mumbling in your sleep after an hour. Maybe something that keeps happening?” Dib shrugged. He finished his breakfast and hopped out of bed. He took the container from Zim’s hand and placed it on the desk. He fully unpacked the first-aid pack and moved it next to Zim. 

“A few hours ago, you crashed in my room, bleeding nonstop, and your PAK kept clicking. Why?” Dib was holding up a band-aid. “I’m sorry I didn’t have one like 8 hours ago.” 

Zim shrugged. Dib moved Zim’s shirt slightly up. His wound was almost closed. “Do you still want one?” 

“Eh, I don’t care,” he shrugged. 

Dib chuckled softly and placed the band-aid on the fresh middle cut. 

“Are you sure you’re up to accompanying me tonight? If you just need to crash, it’s fine. You don’t need to explain yourself.” 

“It’s fine. Zim wants to go,” he looked annoyed, but Dib knew he was happy to be included. 

“You didn’t arrive in your complete disguise, but don’t worry; there’s still some of your stuff from last time. We will be heading out at night, so don’t worry.” 

“Where are we going?”

“To the Cat Cemetery.”

“Why?”

“Because...why not?”

“Dib.” 

“Because the doll needs a soul replacement before it finishes transferring it with yours.”

“...what?” 

“It’s not like I can kill someone in broad daylight and switch it with yours? Like um, hey, can I borrow your soul for second because I fucked up a ritual, ya’know?” 

“And...YOU’RE THE ONE ASKING WHAT’S WRONG WITHZ ZIM? Okay, sure fair. Let’s get this over with.” 

“Don’t forget the mind-controlling ghost repellent.”

“Dib, what’s wrong with you.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story is turning into "I'm hurt, you're hurt, I valid your hurt" type of story. The gore/violence will stay within the flashback & dream sequence but the remaining part is fluff because most of the time I wonder what would happen to these two once they validate and process their hurt. 
> 
> See ya next week, thank you for reading :)


	4. Night At the Cat Cemetery

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Packing for a night hike with your enemy 101.

Was it wrong of Dib to be this happy to see Zim again? Even if Zim asked a legit question for once, he completely discarded it with a huge smile plastered on his face. 

Since today wasn’t a planning-Dib’s-ultimate-doom type of day, Zim, for once in his life, just took it slow. He requested some tools to inspect his PAK since there were some unusual noises. He didn’t have the correct equipment at hand to do a thorough diagnostic on it. It was just a band-aid on the problem, it wasn’t like this started because of Dib’s doll. Zim was just getting closer to getting unplugged. He shook his head and unconsciously began to scratch too deep into his neck and arms. 

“Hey, hey, are YOU okay,” Dib tried not to reach out for Zim’s hand. There were a few times he was able to witness this type of behavior. Whenever Zim felt out of control, he ended up with unusual marks throughout his body. He mentally face-palmed and tried to diverge Zim’s attention to other matters before Zim tried to shut off and run away. 

“You’re still on board with our agreement, right?” He mentally face-palmed again. His recurring dreams showed him that that day might arrive sooner than anticipated. 

“...y-yes,” That made him stop hurting himself and looked away from Dib for a second. Their promise was made mainly at the heat of the moment, but it wasn’t like him to back out. Especially now that his end is inching closer. “And YOU are still keeping your end of the bargain? There’s no way the same nonsense will occur like when you dragged us into your giant head,” he looked back at Dib with a sour look. 

Dib laughed nervously. That was years ago, but Zim never forgot nor forgave. Despite being on the opposite spectrum, no matter what, Zim would never go against a promise. He hated the fact that Dib would cross him no matter what, even if it were logical to do so. He was still hesitant to trust Dib throughout the years, even though their relationship had improved. They kept each other on their toes, but that was enough to keep each other motivated for the longest time. This only made Dib’s contractions hurt Zim even more, and he hated each second. Two same sided magnets with equal footing for the most part. “It won’t happen again. I promise.” Dib’s eyes were sincere, but his words were a little shaky. Zim let out a tiny sigh before turning his back at him. He wasn’t sure how to let it go. It made Dib uneasy. Before hesitating like the other million times before they started getting closer, he moved over to see him face to face. 

There was hurt on Zim’s face. “I need you with me- I need you to come with me to end this,” Dib eyed the doll, which felt like it were to start crying at any second. “I’m still learning how to properly do this, but...I might have gone overboard with experimenting it with

“So this - ‘Doll’ of yours - what are you planning to do with it?” He looked at its beady pink-button eyes. There was a sort of silent agreement between them that it would be best to not look directly at each other. There was no certainty on what could go wrong since this was built by Dib, but he was no way a master of this craft. Even if his father was secretly impressed with his necromancy kills, this was just on a different level altogether. When Dib first jumped into the medium, he tends to buy the knock-off versions as advertised on T.V. when he was younger, he knew better now. 

“I was hoping to contact you since you know- we agreed to no more spy camera a long time ago.” Dib managed to be sincere for a few seconds, he looked around for items to pack to tonight’s hike. “I know you don’t like being tracked, but you’ve been going radio silent on me on and off. Why?” 

“There’s just been a lot of THINGS, your puny little Eurth head couldn’t get wrapped around.” Zim lowed the doll and give it back to Dib; he placed it back into his shirt front pocket. “But since we did agree upon disclosing plans, so yes. Zim has just been extremely busy with work.” He crossed his hands without looking at Dib. He hid his shaky hands before Dib could notice. It was becoming increasingly difficult to conceal his unstable emotions. It wasn’t like he ever had a safety net to begin with. Everything Zim got himself into was like jumping right into the lion’s den just to prove himself. It only got himself so far, and he was at his limit. 

Dib looked at Zim, he didn’t feel the jolt of energy he used to get from trying to stop his “enemy” from destroying Earth. That felt like long ago, but in reality, it hadn’t been that many years ago since they were tailing each other. The rush that came with having at each other’s throats was simmering down before their eyes. But now Dib was finally starting to understand the alien he once thought he hated with every inch of his being. The doll, Dib created in Zim’s image, had begun to share Zim’s corporal energy and share his subconscious with the creator. Dib thought he was dreaming his own nightmare when, in reality, they were Zim’s. He was unsure what other physical changes might occur, but he was intrigued by Zim’s fears. For the longest time, he never saw Zim as a being capable of any mercy. Still, Zim seemed to be flooded with fear coated with a thick layer of self-deception. 

He was unsure if Zim would ever like to talk about it or just deny it altogether. Dib had to strategize the best way to check Zim’s physical reaction. At this point, Zim still had the best advantage to defend himself even though his PAK was still undergoing self reparations. 

Dib carefully eyed Zim’s PAK, it continued to make a very soft clicking sound every few minutes. 

The evening was drawing close. Dib packed some extra snacks into this backpack. It had stopped raining, but the air blew in the cold. It made him shiver as he remembered the faint body heat radiated from Zim’s body last night. He was always thought Zim was cold-blooded, he resisted the urge to touch his hand. He did his best to keep himself in check, any touchy check-up didn’t sit well with anyone, much less Zim. 

They had promised each other to let them study. Over time, they were able to exchange personal antidotes about their body. Zim had the advantage of capturing human test subjects whenever he pleased. Still, when Dib found out, he had to promise him he was ceased to continue his studies until they exchanged their personal specimen with each other. Zim rarely broke promises, especially with Dib. It was different from him, he felt obligated, but he didn’t know why. Maybe because he was the first to take him seriously? A sort of gratitude for being treated as an equal? An equal threat at the beginning, unsure at the moment. 

“Will it be quick?” Zim spoke and broke the silence, a tiny wince escaped his question. 

“To be honest with you, this is my first time swapping souls into a single vessel, but if everything goes well, then yeah,” Dib gave a small chuckle. He knew Zim was worried, that he was worried that it might physically hurt. There were plenty of previous incidents of him deceiving Zim into doing human activities with the malicious intent of hurting him. Nevertheless, Zim tried his best to blend in with everyone, failing the majority of the time. There was a ping of guilt within Dib. He hadn’t mustered the courage to apologize to Zim, but his first rational kept overdriving his intent to clear his actions. 

Dib final had his backpack packed for tonight. He tends to overpack, but at this point, it was just for extra precaution. There were too many things that could go wrong at this point. He checked his calendar and wall full of notes, he grabbed the college map he created of the forest in the back and placed it inside his coat pocket. A good portion was open to the public, but there was still some territory unmarked for passage. The land was either without a path, or too many wild animals reigned the area. The wild plants and mushrooms were the top-dogs in this area. 

“You should bundle up Zim, it’s cold now, but it’s going to get even colder in a few hours once we head north of campus.” Dib looked over his closet and give Zim one of his college hoodies. He was snuggled with the bedsheets, Zim didn’t complain much since he was getting cold. He got out of bed and fixed his wig. The mirror showed how tired he actually was, but dressing up was a significant improvement. The PAK repairs had not only physically but mentally drained him, which made him sleepy. He undoubtedly recharged enough to go back to his base, but he didn’t want to leave. 

Dib stood right next to him, “you look just like a college student. You’re rocking the ‘cramming for finals’ look.” Dib cracked a smile, and Zim rolled his eyes with a small chuckle. These were one of the few instances Dib got to witness Zim’s honest reaction. He completed his look by making sure his eye contact lenses were in place. They were ready for tonight. The day was setting, it was getting dark pretty fast. A few students were getting dropped off the bus stop from grocery shopping. The bus was packed. 

Zim looked nervously back at Dib. 

“Don’t worry, we aren’t taking the bus. This way,” He gently nudged forward on Zim’s clothes and lead the way. They went their way the hill. 

Dib had grown taller towards the end of the high school year. Still, to Zim’s attention, it seemed like Dib grew once more at college, it was difficult to tell since they weren’t attending school together. Zim grunted and tried his bed to keep at Dib’s pace, he half-heartedly punched Dib’s arm. 

“Ow- what’s wrong?” Dib looked back at him. “Oh.” He had the habit of speed walking once his mind trailed off, especially when his class was across campus. “I’ll slow down, sorry.” 

Zim couldn’t help to make an irritate face in agreement. 

Dib grabbed his water bottle and drank. He passed it over to Zim. The steep walk uphill left them both a little out of breath. 

“It’s filtered, it won’t hurt you. I added some flavored sweetener for you too,” He said, catching his breath. 

Zim took a small sip and then a good chug. 

“Save some for later. We’ll need it.” 

They finally reached the entrance of the northern forest. The parking lot was empty—a cyclist passed by without notice too close to Zim. Dib pulled Zim toward him, and the bike took a sharp corner downhill, it was too dangerous to try to stop now. “Sorry!” They manage to yell out before disappearing. 

Zim got hold of his footing. “You can let go now!” 

“Yeah, yeah, my bad.” He nervously backed to the side. 

The night was approaching, and the crickets started chirping. Dib instantly tried to hear Zim’s PAK again, the soft chirping continued as well. It made him feel a little better as they continued their walk. The redwood trees swayed, overcrowding them. 

“Wait, Zim, it’s getting too dark for me to see.” He took out a heavy-duty lamp from his backpack and adjusted the setting to soft light. 

  
“You humans are really pathetic, can’t even see through this? It’s not even that dark!” 

“Well yeah, we do have some pretty shit eyesight compared to the rest of the planet’s habitats.” He agreed whole-heartedly. One of his goals to study Zim’s anatomy was to understand his supernatural abilities enhanced by the PAK. He knew Zim would never let him examine his PAK, but that could change. 

Dib took out the map from his pocket.

The clouds rolled over the full moon over them. 

Faint soft meows crept into the cold wind. 

“Zim, we’re here.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My motivation to go into the gore route is diminishing but I'll make it work, or else I'll just have to rewrite the summary. 
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	5. Naked Truth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dib finally gets to understand Zim's deal and there's no hiding from this one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have changed the rating and summary of the story.

They were a few feet away from an elaborate tiny scaled graveyard. It was decorated with birthday cake-sized candles. Many of the mini gravestones were carved delicately with an abundance of cat looking symbols. The central grave, which was most likely the first, was a little smaller than the rest, but it had the most offering left around its gravestone. 

“Here lies, Fluffkins, Cowell’s finest student. 1965 - 1975.” Dib read in out loud as he stepped closer to check his surroundings. 

There was a faint purring coming from behind him. He turned around. Zim looked back at him. 

“What? That wasn’t me. I don’t PURR.” He studdered. 

“You did it last night, too bad I didn’t record you.” 

“Wh-What!? LIES!” He screeched. 

“Shh, don’t we shouldn’t be making too much noise here. It will disturb the resting souls.” Dib said in a serious tone. 

Zim settled down for a hot second. 

“So, what exactly are we here to do?” Zim scanned the graves before turning back to Dib with a non-existing eyebrow raised.

“I just need to transfer a soul to the Zim doll before the ritual is complete.” Dib took out small glass vessels from his backpack and placed five into a pentagon formation surround the middle grave. 

“...and if you don’t?” Zim asked quietly. 

“Oh, I dono, maybe your essence gets stuck into the doll permanently, and I’d have you in my pocket pretty much, yeah.” Dib nervously chuckled as he began to fill the vessels half-way with water. 

Dib felt Zim’s glare piercing his back. He worked swiftly before turning to Zim, “Again, I didn’t expect this to work, and to prevent it from doing what it was created for, I just need an extra soul.” He shrugged. Zim gave Dib a half-assed karate chop on his head. “Owch, yeah, fine, I deserve that.” 

“For next time, you could just go to my base to find me—no need to this foolish nonsense,” Zim humphed. 

“I have, and you weren’t there. I even asked your robots, but your computer said you were offline at the moment. It was like that for a while. I sincerely thought you had left.” Dib sat on the cold ground, in front of the middle grave. Zim stood behind him, the moonlight shining brightly through the passing clouds. There was a moment of silence before Dib continued. 

“There was something off, I couldn’t place my finger on it, and in a desperate attempt, I created this.” Dib took the doll out of his front pocket, gently holding on to it. Its beady doll eyes had a hint of sadness briefly lingering. 

It has been an unusual transition for both of them. They had become accustomed to the nonstop bickering and having at it each other's throats trying to stop the other’s plan. Somehow, Dib thought it would be like this forever, becoming Earth’s permanent savior. Alas, nothing is at it seems. Zim was having difficulties coming to terms with his new reality and initially shut everyone off. 

Zim’s loneliness was eating him alive slowly. No matter how hard he tried to ignore it, there was only so much he could do, and it didn’t help that he didn’t have the words to express his situation. He was left wallowing in his misery. 

Zim had never given himself full permission to grief. Most of the time, he would just zone-out for hours until his computer tried endlessly to snap him back to reality. There were only a handful of times where he was honest with his existence, they didn’t last long, and he’d return to proving that reality with the sheer will of pride. 

“I don’t want to die.” The doll said barely audible. 

Dib’s eye widens; he looked back at Zim, who had not spoken a word. They looked back at the doll, and it remained silent for a few minutes. 

“When I created this, I starting receiving weird dreams. It didn’t feel far off some of my usual dreams, so I didn’t put much thought into it. But now that I know that the doll has a deep special connection to you, I believe I saw a part of you that aren’t aware of.” Dib said in the most calming voice Zim has ever heard; it put him on edge. 

“Z-Zim does not hide things to himself; that’s stupid.” Zim intently looked at the doll, unsure of snatching it from Dib’s hands but scared to do so. 

“Zim, I know that our relationship didn’t have the best start but the one thing I can say with confidence; you motivated me, encouraged me to continue with all my Earth-saving plans even when everyone else flat out ignored me. It was thrilling. At times, I doubted myself because what’s the point of doing all of this if there’s no one else to see. But still, it was fun, and this continued for years."

Zim subconsciously nodded, he tried his best not to think about Them. 

“I don’t mind not having other’s approval, but when you suddenly went radio silent on me, it scared me.” Dib looked up at the moon and back at the doll. 

“This wasn’t the first time, so I kinda let it slide, but this time your computer reached out to me to help.” 

“My computer called you?” 

“Again, this wasn’t the first time. Your smoopy episodes were getting longer each time.”

Zim squinted his eyes but let Dib continue explaining. 

“I dreamed I was getting killed by your Tallest.” 

Zim froze. 

“But then I realized it wasn’t me getting killed, it was you.” Dib grabbed on to the doll a little tighter, moving it close to his chest. 

“I’m afraid of the CONTROL BRAINS. I’m afraid of my TALLEST. I’m afraid of being stranded once again to rot on this DIRT PLANET. I’m AFRAID TO DIE.” The doll rolled out its confessions nonstop. 

“Make it stop,” Zim said in a low shaky voice; both his hands were responding to him. His knees were weak. 

“I don’t want to DIE!!!” The doll shrieked with all its might. 

“STOP,” Zim fell to his knees, gripping to Dib’s shoulder from behind. His forehead was completely resting on Dib’s other shoulder. He felt like he was having his single organ sliced up. Dib touched Zim’s hand on his shoulder and gave it a gentle squeeze. 

“Please stop.” Zim pled. 

“Zim, what’s going on?” Dib turned to face him. The moonlight spotlighted them. 

“Is that why you’ve been avoiding me?” 

“Zim cannot explain.” 

“You can’t talk about this? Is someone keeping you from doing-”

“No, no, it’s not like that. Zim literally cannot process this effectively. The Control Brains have reset Zim to many times.”

“How many times has it been?” 

“Far too many, at this point, it’s likely for the Tallest to request execution.”

Dib was astounded, it was Zim after all but still felt weird. 

“You could have told me. We could have figured something out.” 

“Do YOU have any idea what’s it like to be wondering every single waking moment that someone a zillion light-years away could just shut you off- kill you off - right there in then. Not being able to get rid of the incoming commands from your superiors, constantly yelling at you that you’re worthless, thus spending most of your life trying to prove them wrong, no matter what you do it’s a useless battle with your own people who don’t even care for you. If you let them know your true feelings, it will only earn a humiliating and painful spotlight example that you are worthless to the empire.” Zim ranted breathless, hot tears forming, and it was getting difficult for him to control his emotions. “No one needs Zim.” His eyes were soulless, his body weak. His chest ached, these invading thoughts were held within him for far too long, it seemed like nothing was holding him back this time. 

Dib shifted his position to face Zim. It was his first time seeing Zim this distraught. It finally clicked: the prolonged radio-silence, the distance, the unusual request from Zim’s computer for Dib to check up on Zim, and the shared dreams reviled by the doll. It was a matter of time before Zim sunk deeper into his deprecating state of mind. Dib knew far too well how dangerous this could be. He had to act fast. The doll’s influence was not only revealing Zim’s fears but was inclosing him into the doll itself. 

He drew Zim in a tight hug; he was hesitant to speak. What could he say to the alien to make him understand that he understands his pain? To be an outcast, the need to be validated, and the constant fear of being outed as most hated. Dib hated remembering these feelings, but the first step to moving forward was acknowledgment. 

Dib was just a human, how could he lure Zim out from his despair. 

He took out his swizz-army knife from his coat pocket and drew an extended cut on his inner palm. Hot blood started to drip as he balled his fist tightly, he let the blood drip onto the center of the doll, and it immediately started to glow. He held it close to him as he pulled Zim into a tighter embrace. The doll now had two essences. Dib was no longer the only one who could feel Zim. 

“Please listen: I need you, and here’s why.” 

Zim and Dib felt a sudden jolt run across their bodies, it felt as both of their memories were sync with each other. Zim could not only see but also feel the reply to Dib’s memories like a neatly stacked compilation. There’s only been a few instances in his life where he’s been emotionally overwhelmed but this was one of the few times where he didn’t feel alone. His PAK started clicking too loudly, warning him to stop whatever he was doing but for the first time in a long time, he was glad to be feeling—feeling alive. Dib felt likewise and he couldn’t help but break out crying for a solid minute. Zim didn’t feel bothered by it but he finally felt he could begin to understand these emotions. It was getting difficult to breathe. 

Zim subconsciously saved Dib’s memories into this PAK, it felt like it was part of him now. A soft clicking started. A soft dark shade emerged on his face, Zim felt embarrassed. 

Dib gently chuckled as he was finally able to stop crying. He felt relieved to see Zim’s face look alive again. He wiped a tear from Zim’s tired face with his finger. Zim grunted before being taken back from the bloody mess still dripping from Dib’s hand to his forearm. 

“Dib! You’re still bleeding!” Zim quickly dried his eyes with the sleeve of the hoodie. 

“The first-aid kit is inside” He pointed at this backpack with his nose. Zim went through the backpack quickly. 

“Why did you bring so much junk?” 

“I wasn’t sure what was going to happen tonight. Not like I wanna run downhill and then uphill again to get your soul out of the doll.” Dib replied with a deadpan face. Zim found a snack bar and unwrapped it, eating it all in one bite. 

“Hey, give me a piece.” 

Zim gave Dib a small piece he had inside his mouth. “Here,” then he shoved it into Dib’s mouth. 

Dib grunted. 

He found the kit, took out the disinfectant, and poured a generous amount on Dib’s palm, and wrapped the badge tightly. 

“Let’s get this over with.” 

The night sky was finally clear, no cloud in sight. The cold breezes rolled by the redwood trees, swaying gently. The stars were shining bright. 

A soft meow was heard as the moonlit the area entirely. 

Dib placed tiny fragments of labradorite into the five glass vessels in front of him. Their shine was even more alluring underneath the water. Zim stared in awe. Dib lit the remaining candles on the grave, he took out some cat treats and catnip as offerings and provided a brief prayer. 

Both of them sat facing each other, Dib took hold of Zim’s hand and held both the doll and the other hand together. 

“We are gathered here tonight, to ask for a willing wondering soul into our vessel,” Dib said without breaking eye-contact with Zim. His antennas twitched a little. 

“Wondering souls, I ask of you, please use this as an offering. We cannot fill its void at the moment. It can’t be kept together.” 

He held Zim firmly. 

“Because you keep me together.” 

End. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! So the story was drastically changed from the initial premise but that's still on the table. Maybe I can do part two, building up to the M rating since in this timeline I imagine both of them trying to be honest and understand each other. 
> 
> The next step would be the "my guard is down but I'm willing to try new things with some exceptions-" type of deal. 
> 
> This is actually the first fanfiction I've completed that's not a one-shot! :D 
> 
> I do wanna continue writing more IZ ff, this felt more like a warm-up. 
> 
> Let me know what you thought! 
> 
> Thanks for reading.


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